I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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