I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
