omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
