he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
