She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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