so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
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I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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