Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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