And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
