Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
