I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
