How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something