Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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