I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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