Me. At least after what I've been through.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
