Can i not drive my cunt home
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
