is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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