Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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