u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
