How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
