Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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