brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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