i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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