dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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