im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
