Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just tell him i said nine months
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
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I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize