You made me cry and you don't even care
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize