I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
