Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
