Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
