do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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