We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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