did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
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