Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
