ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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