On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
