She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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