I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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