I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
