remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
