I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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