he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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