Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm at about main and main street
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
