I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
