We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
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Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize