how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Pooping to opera.
Randomize