Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
even my farts smell like vagina
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
