Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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