I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
