The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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