i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
