I puked a lego.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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