Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
