No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
