It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
