I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize