These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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