remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
