I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
