He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
