problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
