so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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