I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
