She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
