KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
