eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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