i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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